Taking it slow.

Endrit and I were talking on the way home from my parent's house and we were talking about how it was funny that my parents are starting to talk about Dexter as a grandchild...if only in jest. Real kids came up and Endrit said sorry that we have to wait so long and I asked him a question of if either of us are really sorry about it. The discussion that we had afterwards was worth the question. We have known that marrying eachother wasn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world because of the drastically different cultures that we grew up in. We have a slight language barrier (which no one seems to notice but it IS there). There are many of the key changes in life that our cultures couldn't be further apart in the differences. 99% of the little things we meet eye to eye but big things...not so much. We have had to work out these differences and ultimately say it isn't up to us. We will prepare mentally now for anything and life will happen when it is supposed to happen.

My answer and his answer to that question is that we are not sorry. We are glad that we are able to agree on the little things and know who we are married to. We are able to give up our will in major areas to the will of Heavenly Father where it is supposed to be. Faith in knowing that our day will come keeps both of us happy. My graduation will be here before I know it.

The best part about this is that it has pertained to all major life decisions.
There was a disagreement as to the date of the wedding that we sorted out not of our own will. There was slight disagreement in where to go for graduate school.
There is a disagreement on when to have children.
There is probably going to be disagreement in where we will be moving after we are both done with school. I favor the Arizona, New Mexico area where Endrit favors the Oregon, Washington area.

The best part about it is that we don't rely on only our opinions. We say that we will do what we feel is right no matter where it takes us.

If we were to get married and get pregnant 6 months in and me postpone school like I wanted to do when we were married 6 months, I wouldn't have the profound growth that I have encountered over the last 3 years. I know who I am married to and he knows me and we still like eachother. We have learned to put our complete faith in the Lord where it should be. Without the growth that has come from continuing my education and waiting to add more life changes I don't know where I would be.

I guess that the major thing that Endrit and I realised that night was that we have had to learn who eachother really is. We still don't fully understand the extent of our cultural differences and we are learning more about each other every day. If I had children and needed to care for them Endrit and I would have less time to learn about each other.

When people come from the same cultural background it, in my mind, can be easier to come eye to eye on major life events and they know that they will nurture more relationships at the same time and it is definately do-able.

I think that it took Endrit and I really talking about if we are really sad about waiting for a specific life change to realize our blessings that come with the dicisions that we have made together. I hope that people don't read this and I am condoning postponement of major life events, but the huge message is that of making a marriage a marriage between you, your spouse and the Lord. If there are 3 people within the marriage things will be as good as they can be.