Chapter 3 - Getting to Know You

We started dating in late August 2004. I was 18 (almost 19) at the time and he was 21. It was the first time in my life that I hadn't known a person for years before we started dating exclusively. That isn't saying much because of the limited experiences of dating that I had. All I knew is that I found Endrit intriguing and he fit into the box I had made for my perfect man. Or perhaps my box morphed a bit because of my most recent life experiences and growth. It didn't take too long to get to know the basics of each other by staying up until the wee hours of the morning. This is the first time that I started to know about the drastic cultural differences between us.

He grew up with different ideals when it comes to the timeline of marriage. He was actually waiting until graduate school to even think of getting married. That was at that time 2 years away. This is why I was the first girl that he had ever dated. In Albania, 2 years of dating before marriage is somewhat short. He wasn't even thinking about the prospect of marriage when I had pretty much decided that we would probably get married the next summer. I was just waiting for the proposal. I had been praying from day one if I should continue in this relationship because my ultimate goal was to get married. Those prayers turned into prayers of if Endrit specifically was going to be my future husband. The answer was apparent to me to be yes before I ever turned 19 in November.

I think that I was wanting a quick dating to marriage because I was scared that my parents put in their mission papers. I also think that Endrit was thinking that we would probably have a 2 year dating before marriage because of the same reason. He was waiting to have my parents come home.