The last 2 weeks before the wedding were somewhat traumatic for me. Great but traumatic. At that point both Endrit and I were prepared and willing to enter into marriage knowing that we would work out anything that would arise. Wedding prep had taught us that. Endrit went through the temple that weekend 2 weeks before the wedding because he would be unavailable the next weekend and everyone knew that we would be good for the last 2 weeks. It was an amazing experiance to be the one that was previously endowed. Usually, LDS men are missionaries and come home and get married to women who have yet to go through the temple. Endrit and I were just the opposite. They still had me come to the brides council before the new girls went through the temple for the first time. The girls sat on the front row and the Mothers sat right behind them. The girls asked where my Mom was and I told them in Ukraine. I told them my story and circumstances and had everyone in the room in tears. No matter what happened during the wedding planning, at that moment, every single girl there was truly greatful that their parents were able to be there. It was an amazing moment for me and the other girls in the room. It is becuase of these experiences that I do not hold anything against my parents for knowing that the Lord wanted them to be in Ukraine while I was getting married.
The temple was an amazing experience to see the man I love take upon him the promises of the temple and truly be worthy and able to make those covenents. I know how the men feel as their bride gets ready for eternal marriage. I am so happy to have had this opportunity.
The traumatic part of the story is that I was meeting Endrit's parents for the first time 1 week before the wedding. We were picking them up at the airport and that is why Endrit had to go through the temple the week previous. I was so nervous because not only did I have to meet his parents, we were taking a week long road trip from Salt Lake to San Diego to visit one of my Mother-in-law's cousins and then back to Pocatello through the Grand Canyon with only 1 day to spare before the wedding. I was getting back the night before the reception...cutting it a bit close.
The San Diego visit was weird. I saw my Father-in-law have a cigarette and a beer right in front of me when he was supposed to be following the word of wisdom. I couldn't eat and I felt so bad for Endrit because he now knew why his parents were not endowed and therefore not able to come to the wedding. It hurt me so much to see this happen because they would be the grandparents to my children and I want good examples for them. They saw me cranky because I was tired and we couldn't find a hotel. His parents made fun of him because we stayed in the same room as his parents because of obvious reasons even when they offered to pay for a separate room. They didn't understand that we were good kids going against the customs of Albania. We almost crashed and we had a great time at Grand Canyon. We stopped at Hoover Dam. Basically the stops that my parents had taken me on while moving from Arizona to Utah to Idaho back to Arizona and back to Idaho. It was a fun trip and we were worn out when we got back into Pocatello right on time Thursday night. It was tiring, I gained weight because of traveliing food so high in sodium, but it was a really nice way to figure out about this family I was marrying into. It saddened me but I thought I could help them gain the testimony they needed.
11/4/08
Chapter 7 - Cleave unto Each Other
After I went through the temple my parents left on their mission. I could still talk to them and I did on a regular basis to keep them up to date on the wedding and such. It was kind of hard to do wedding things because basically it was done except for sewing table cloths and putting the rest of the announcements together. The dress fit like a glove, we registered for Endrit's tux that he didn't even wear, it was just all planned. We were able to focus on school and mentally prepare for what eternity meant. There were definite ups and downs when it came to who was invited to the wedding. I can remember the heated emotions where I thought that someone who didn't even matter was inviting everyone and their dog to my wedding. Both of our parents were not going to be there so we would have whomever we wanted in the room...Right? I wanted Endrit to Invite who he wanted and I would invite who I wanted. It would work out. It didn't happen that way with the invitations, but somehow it happened that way when it came time for the wedding. There were still empty seats and my anxiety stayed under control.
We had to depend on each other for everything. Something had to be planned, we had to do it. Emotions that needed to be dealt with, we had to work through them. Getting Endrit's temple date, we had to work together. Finding an apartment and moving in, we had to do it together with the exception of the couch and bed that Alex brought up. It was nice to just have him there for me because I learned what marriage would slightly entail. We worked and shopped together and we dated and had a good time getting to know the other person better. We were still ambivalent for marriage because of his culture shock and my being so young! A realization came about at the temple for me before we were married that I will tell later on why it was really good for me to have a long engagement.
It was one of the trying times that Endrit and I had because of "bridezilla" which I think I was a tame lizard like zilla but others might beg to differ. I only remember 2 subject areas that I had outbursts in. It wasn't the whole wedding, just the guest list and the before reception photos. I handled the latter better. But through this all, Endrit and I became more inseparable and excited to be married for all eternity.
We had to depend on each other for everything. Something had to be planned, we had to do it. Emotions that needed to be dealt with, we had to work through them. Getting Endrit's temple date, we had to work together. Finding an apartment and moving in, we had to do it together with the exception of the couch and bed that Alex brought up. It was nice to just have him there for me because I learned what marriage would slightly entail. We worked and shopped together and we dated and had a good time getting to know the other person better. We were still ambivalent for marriage because of his culture shock and my being so young! A realization came about at the temple for me before we were married that I will tell later on why it was really good for me to have a long engagement.
It was one of the trying times that Endrit and I had because of "bridezilla" which I think I was a tame lizard like zilla but others might beg to differ. I only remember 2 subject areas that I had outbursts in. It wasn't the whole wedding, just the guest list and the before reception photos. I handled the latter better. But through this all, Endrit and I became more inseparable and excited to be married for all eternity.
11/3/08
Chapter 6 - Farewell
My parent's mission date moved to February 23, 2005. If my parents couldn't come to the actual wedding, I was going to try my hardest for them to see me go through the temple for the first time. I talked to my Bishop of the singles ward and he told me that he would, but he didn't feel that he knew enough about me to make that decision. He sent me to my Home ward bishop (My parent's bishop who knew me for a long time) for him to make that decision. If you don't know, they don't like to have bride or groom to go through the temple until it is a week before the wedding because of separation issues or the possibility of breaking the law of chastity in the wait until the wedding. I knew that it was a long shot but I had to at least ask. Endrit accompanied me to the church where I had my interview. The bishop talked to us together to see how we were as a couple. He talked to me for a little while and proceeded to ask me the temple recommend interview questions. In the end he signed it and set my date to go through the temple for February 19, 2005. The weekend before my parents left for their mission. I went to talk with my stake president who also had to sign my recommend. I learned that the Bishop had called the stake president to ask for council for my situation. He wanted to make it where my parents could be there for at least one big step. The stake president wisely stated that if the bishop were to sign a rocommend, he would sign it as well. So, sitting in my Stake President's den, I got my first temple recommend and I was able to go through the temple with my parents at my side the weekend before they went on their mission. a Full 3 months before my wedding date.
It was a wonderful experience of trust on Endrit and I's part to indeed get married in the temple and be worthy of doing so. It was bittersweet because I knew that it would be a long time before I would see my parents and it killed them and me to have them miss my wedding.
It was a wonderful experience of trust on Endrit and I's part to indeed get married in the temple and be worthy of doing so. It was bittersweet because I knew that it would be a long time before I would see my parents and it killed them and me to have them miss my wedding.
Chapter 5 - The In-laws
The 4 week program that I am talking about came like this. (It ended up being a 5 week program to announce the wedding date)
Week one: "Hey Mom and Dad, I am dating this girl"
Week two: "I am really interested in this girl"
Week three: "I think we might get married"
Week four: "We are engaged" (no mention of the wedding date)
Week five: "We are getting married May 21, 2005"
His parents were excited until the week 5 announcement. It is definitely not custom to have such a "short" engagement. They wanted more time to be able to come to the United States and possibly move here. I was taking their son away from them and making him abandon his culture. I don't think that they understood what has to go into an LDS temple wedding and why LDS engagements are usually shorter than 6 months. He was so defeated by the end of that conversation. We knew that we were not going to change the date of the wedding. It was kind of sad because I had the dress, the ring was being made, and we were going to be taking our announcement pictures 2 days after the conversation. He was kind of mopey and I don't blame him one bit. I was a bit mopey as well because my parent's mission call kept on getting moved forward and I was gaining more knowledge that I wouldn't have my parents at my wedding.
Just before we took our wedding pictures, his parents called him. It is no easy feat to be able to call to or from Albania. It is expensive and sometimes it doesn't go through. They called to tell him sorry about not being supportive. They were really excited that he had chosen his life partner and they trusted him in who he chose. It made both of us smile and I am sure that is why our pictures turned out as good as they did.
I have to say that I knew the reasons why they were upset. They had not seen their son for several years and I was taking him completely away because with marriage to an American there was little to no chance of him moving back. They would go by faith alone in how good the match was because they would only meet me 1 week before the wedding.
I couldn't just leave this with my real in-laws. I also have what I call my host-in-laws. They are Endrit's host family from when he was a foreign exchange student. I have to admit that they drove me crazy! Think of what in-laws are portrayed to be and double it because of my mind thinking "but they aren't your REAL parents" I almost threw the ring back at Endrit and gave up. Instead I walked out of the situation, drove my car for a while around Pocatello and cooled off. I wanted to marry Endrit and if it was needing to go through Rick and Janet's family, it would have to be worth it.
Week one: "Hey Mom and Dad, I am dating this girl"
Week two: "I am really interested in this girl"
Week three: "I think we might get married"
Week four: "We are engaged" (no mention of the wedding date)
Week five: "We are getting married May 21, 2005"
His parents were excited until the week 5 announcement. It is definitely not custom to have such a "short" engagement. They wanted more time to be able to come to the United States and possibly move here. I was taking their son away from them and making him abandon his culture. I don't think that they understood what has to go into an LDS temple wedding and why LDS engagements are usually shorter than 6 months. He was so defeated by the end of that conversation. We knew that we were not going to change the date of the wedding. It was kind of sad because I had the dress, the ring was being made, and we were going to be taking our announcement pictures 2 days after the conversation. He was kind of mopey and I don't blame him one bit. I was a bit mopey as well because my parent's mission call kept on getting moved forward and I was gaining more knowledge that I wouldn't have my parents at my wedding.
Just before we took our wedding pictures, his parents called him. It is no easy feat to be able to call to or from Albania. It is expensive and sometimes it doesn't go through. They called to tell him sorry about not being supportive. They were really excited that he had chosen his life partner and they trusted him in who he chose. It made both of us smile and I am sure that is why our pictures turned out as good as they did.
I have to say that I knew the reasons why they were upset. They had not seen their son for several years and I was taking him completely away because with marriage to an American there was little to no chance of him moving back. They would go by faith alone in how good the match was because they would only meet me 1 week before the wedding.
I couldn't just leave this with my real in-laws. I also have what I call my host-in-laws. They are Endrit's host family from when he was a foreign exchange student. I have to admit that they drove me crazy! Think of what in-laws are portrayed to be and double it because of my mind thinking "but they aren't your REAL parents" I almost threw the ring back at Endrit and gave up. Instead I walked out of the situation, drove my car for a while around Pocatello and cooled off. I wanted to marry Endrit and if it was needing to go through Rick and Janet's family, it would have to be worth it.
Chapter 4 - Mission Call and Dad's Birthday
I was in the middle of my first University finals week and I was definitely not having the best time in my life. It was my Dad's 50th birthday when my parents got their mission call. I was almost in a panic when I heard where they were going. At the young age of 19, my parents were going half way around the world to Ukraine for 1.5 years. If their call was in the United States it would have been a little less traumatic for me.
I was young and without Endrit displaying any interest in proposing and making sure that I knew he would be around to take care of me and my parents literally being over a day's travel away I was starting to feel abandoned. I knew that I could take care of myself as I had been doing for months, but until that point I always had someone to talk to and be there if I needed to have someone take care of me. Even though I had only been dating Endrit for 4 months I wanted to at least be engaged before my parents left to have that stability.
We went to my parent's house after finals were over to celebrate my Dad's birthday. It was a fun time. I cornered my mom to ask what I should do about Endrit's culture to wait forever to get engaged. At that point I didn't want to pressure Endrit to get engaged because of the fear that he would break it off rather than go onto the next step.
My parents were as worried as I was about someone being there to be able to take care of me. At that point I was having major sinus troubles where sometimes I would pass out and stay asleep for hours upon hours. They wanted to make sure I was taken care of while they were half way around the world. My Dad didn't really know what to do. My mom and I just told him to take Endrit aside and ask what his intentions were.
Right before Endrit and I were going back to Pocatello my Dad finally pulled Endrit aside and took him into the office for a private conversation. They were not in there for too long but my mom and I were still on pins and needles. Well, maybe she wasn't but I definately was. Was I about to be engaged? I wanted to be so badly. The door opened and Endrit walked out with a happy look on his face and my Dad gave me a thumbs up. We walked out the door and my Mom told me to give her a call when I got home with kind of a wink wink hint hint kind of tone.
Even though my Dad gave me the thumbs up, I was nervous as I got into the car. Happy Birthday Dad! Your youngest is getting engaged.
I was young and without Endrit displaying any interest in proposing and making sure that I knew he would be around to take care of me and my parents literally being over a day's travel away I was starting to feel abandoned. I knew that I could take care of myself as I had been doing for months, but until that point I always had someone to talk to and be there if I needed to have someone take care of me. Even though I had only been dating Endrit for 4 months I wanted to at least be engaged before my parents left to have that stability.
We went to my parent's house after finals were over to celebrate my Dad's birthday. It was a fun time. I cornered my mom to ask what I should do about Endrit's culture to wait forever to get engaged. At that point I didn't want to pressure Endrit to get engaged because of the fear that he would break it off rather than go onto the next step.
My parents were as worried as I was about someone being there to be able to take care of me. At that point I was having major sinus troubles where sometimes I would pass out and stay asleep for hours upon hours. They wanted to make sure I was taken care of while they were half way around the world. My Dad didn't really know what to do. My mom and I just told him to take Endrit aside and ask what his intentions were.
Right before Endrit and I were going back to Pocatello my Dad finally pulled Endrit aside and took him into the office for a private conversation. They were not in there for too long but my mom and I were still on pins and needles. Well, maybe she wasn't but I definately was. Was I about to be engaged? I wanted to be so badly. The door opened and Endrit walked out with a happy look on his face and my Dad gave me a thumbs up. We walked out the door and my Mom told me to give her a call when I got home with kind of a wink wink hint hint kind of tone.
Even though my Dad gave me the thumbs up, I was nervous as I got into the car. Happy Birthday Dad! Your youngest is getting engaged.
Chapter 5 - I'm Engaged!
It wasn't long after getting into the car that I decided that we needed to talk about what my Dad asked. We were barely pulling out of my parents driveway when I asked. He told me that I already knew what my Dad had talked to him about. I was getting frustrated at Endrit by this time because I just wanted to know if I was engaged or not. It was definitely a different conversation because up until that point we had only ever hinted that marriage may be in our future.
I am going to back track for a funny story that I just remembered that fits into why I say marriage was only hinted at. Endrit was in a Soccer league in Pocatello that had some long drives to Idaho falls at least 2 times a month. We always drove together so that I could go and watch his games. We were running out of things to talk about so I started talking to him about what my dream wedding would look like. He would talk the same. It had happened on several occasions that we would agree on color choices and minor wedding details but we would always say "When I get married". One day I was just wanting him to propose and I slipped and said "When we get married". Endrit told me later that was the first time that it ever went through his mind that he would marry me and that I was ready for marriage. This was in the early parts of December 2004. Probably just a few days before we went to my parent's house.
Endrit told me that my Dad had told him that I was ready to be engaged. He asked if this was true and I told him yes. I asked him if he was ready to be engaged and he said that he hadn't had much time to think about it, but yes he was. We agreed at that point we would not be telling anyone but my parents fr the time being because his parents didn't know that he was even dating me. I agreed to waiting to announce to everyone including siblings. At that point I had a brother in Afghanistan, and no ring whatsoever so it was a whatever for me. Plus we didn't know when we were going to get married. We were planning for May but that is all that we knew at the time.
I told my Mom that I didn't want people to know and she agreed that she wouldn't tell any of the siblings. She asked when the wedding would take place and I told her May. It was kind of a sticky situation for Endrit and I because my parents had a mission call and his parents didn't know that I existed. I knew that I wanted to get married, but marriage itself was scaring me to death. Endrit was the same way. We were glad that both of us wanted to have a longer engagement. If you can call 6 months a long engagement. What I was excited about was; planning the wedding.
I took Endrit to my jeweler and picked out a ring that Endrit and I both loved. It had to be made so I just went back to my apartment and I called around for dress shops to pick out my dress. In late December my Mom took a trip to Pocatello to help me with my dress shopping. She was going to buy it for me. I was a weird bride and took Endrit for the 3rd opinion tie breaker. He had fun because his Mom is a European designer and he grew up around women and dresses. It was funny because he ended up being the vote that broke a tie, in my favor :). It was a little bit weird because His parents still only knew that he was interested in someone at the time I had the dress. They were still on their 4 week program of engagement announcement.
I am going to back track for a funny story that I just remembered that fits into why I say marriage was only hinted at. Endrit was in a Soccer league in Pocatello that had some long drives to Idaho falls at least 2 times a month. We always drove together so that I could go and watch his games. We were running out of things to talk about so I started talking to him about what my dream wedding would look like. He would talk the same. It had happened on several occasions that we would agree on color choices and minor wedding details but we would always say "When I get married". One day I was just wanting him to propose and I slipped and said "When we get married". Endrit told me later that was the first time that it ever went through his mind that he would marry me and that I was ready for marriage. This was in the early parts of December 2004. Probably just a few days before we went to my parent's house.
Endrit told me that my Dad had told him that I was ready to be engaged. He asked if this was true and I told him yes. I asked him if he was ready to be engaged and he said that he hadn't had much time to think about it, but yes he was. We agreed at that point we would not be telling anyone but my parents fr the time being because his parents didn't know that he was even dating me. I agreed to waiting to announce to everyone including siblings. At that point I had a brother in Afghanistan, and no ring whatsoever so it was a whatever for me. Plus we didn't know when we were going to get married. We were planning for May but that is all that we knew at the time.
I told my Mom that I didn't want people to know and she agreed that she wouldn't tell any of the siblings. She asked when the wedding would take place and I told her May. It was kind of a sticky situation for Endrit and I because my parents had a mission call and his parents didn't know that I existed. I knew that I wanted to get married, but marriage itself was scaring me to death. Endrit was the same way. We were glad that both of us wanted to have a longer engagement. If you can call 6 months a long engagement. What I was excited about was; planning the wedding.
I took Endrit to my jeweler and picked out a ring that Endrit and I both loved. It had to be made so I just went back to my apartment and I called around for dress shops to pick out my dress. In late December my Mom took a trip to Pocatello to help me with my dress shopping. She was going to buy it for me. I was a weird bride and took Endrit for the 3rd opinion tie breaker. He had fun because his Mom is a European designer and he grew up around women and dresses. It was funny because he ended up being the vote that broke a tie, in my favor :). It was a little bit weird because His parents still only knew that he was interested in someone at the time I had the dress. They were still on their 4 week program of engagement announcement.
11/1/08
Happy Dance!!!
I took my PRAXIS exam on October 14. I knew 2 of the 3 scores right then and there, but the third score had to be mailed to me. Well I got it today. The minimum score I had to get in each of the three areas was 173. Writing was definitely the worst subject but I still got a 177!!! In each of these areas, a possible score was 190. So my lowest score was 93%. I am definitely excited about this. It was the last thing that I needed to hand in my department application. come Monday I will officially have my application done and sent in for my student teaching!! WHOOT!!!Reading 184/190
Writing 177/190
Math 186/190
Average 182/190
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