I walked across campus today and figured out that my life right now parallels the physical feelings that I felt as I was walking down an ice covered incline. Right now life isn't necessarily the best. I was frozen and unstable as I walked down and all I wanted to do was go home, put my warm and fuzzy robe on, sip hot cocoa and watch a good movie. I then got to thinking that is exactly waht I want my life to be like right now. Going to school is anything but warm and fuzzy. It is cold, windy and bites at your sanity. Instead of watching and being happy for everyone around you doing well and seeming so happy I see people and fell like I am always a step behind. I can't follow the plot because I haven't gotten the understanding that I need.
With the slope I had to walk up to go to class I was brave and walked right in the middle of the ice and knew that I wouldn't falter. I watched every step carefully and had faith. Walking back, disheartened by my lack of understanding in my class I had to walk down the hill. Conciously I noticed that it was much harder to walk down the hill than up it. You can't walk on your tippy toes to be extra careful with your steps. This is the point I am at right now with schooling. I have gotten done with over half of the time that I need to be in school. I am now on the downward slope. If I look at my schoolwork and dread it and let it pile up the more weight I have to carry and the more easily I will fall down. I have to conciously take it one step at a time. There are classes that make me want to fall down and give up but I have to remember that it is one step at a time. There will be minor slips, but eventually I will make it down the hill to sweet scholastic freedom.
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